Pick-Up Lines Shenanigans
Book:
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“Hey Allen! If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!”
“Hey Allen! If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!”
Me:
Allen stopped and cast a look of confusion over his shoulder. They’d been walking for a while. It was quiet, a rare treat lately that he’d been enjoying. Apparently the like for silence wasn’t mutual. Lavi must be getting bored already.
"I’d be a… a what now?"
"I’d be a… a what now?"
BooK:
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Oh yes. Lavi was bored alright. They spent all of yesterday walking in total and complete silence and now he really couldn’t stand the quiet any longer. He had to break the ice somehow so he resorted to trying to pull a game—only to realize how genuinely confused Allen is. Does he not know pickup lines?
“Did you invent the airplane? 'Cause you seem Wright for me!”
Oh yes. Lavi was bored alright. They spent all of yesterday walking in total and complete silence and now he really couldn’t stand the quiet any longer. He had to break the ice somehow so he resorted to trying to pull a game—only to realize how genuinely confused Allen is. Does he not know pickup lines?
“Did you invent the airplane? 'Cause you seem Wright for me!”
Me:
Lavi is definitely bored, when he’s saying strange things like that.
"Your first one was better," he mused, still not catching on, visibly struggling to figure out what Lavi was trying to do. "If these are supposed to be jokes, that second one doesn’t even make sense. What are you doing, anyway?"
"Your first one was better," he mused, still not catching on, visibly struggling to figure out what Lavi was trying to do. "If these are supposed to be jokes, that second one doesn’t even make sense. What are you doing, anyway?"
BooK:
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“Bein' bored, Beansprout,” Lavi answers, deciding to keep going since Allen’s youth and ignorant innocence makes it hard for him to catch on, and therefore makes his reactions interesting. “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket~?”
“Bein' bored, Beansprout,” Lavi answers, deciding to keep going since Allen’s youth and ignorant innocence makes it hard for him to catch on, and therefore makes his reactions interesting. “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket~?”
Me:
"I could figure that part out for myself." He raised a brow at the newest of odd questions/statements. He really must be bored. That or he’s losing his mind.
"It’s summer, why would I be cold?" He started to walk again. He still cast a suspicious look over his shoulder. He knew Lavi was up to something - he was always up to something - but the question was what. ”Much less need you as a blanket when I already have one.”
"It’s summer, why would I be cold?" He started to walk again. He still cast a suspicious look over his shoulder. He knew Lavi was up to something - he was always up to something - but the question was what. ”Much less need you as a blanket when I already have one.”
BooK:
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“I think you have something in your eye, Beansprout--oh wait, it's just a sparkle!”
Oh how the mighty has fallen—not that Lavi was ever really all that mighty.
“I think you have something in your eye, Beansprout--oh wait, it's just a sparkle!”
Oh how the mighty has fallen—not that Lavi was ever really all that mighty.
Me:
He knew there was nothing in his eye, but his subconscious took over before he could think to stop himself from idly swiping at it with the back of his hand.
"Whatever drugs you’re on, I want to know where you got them, and why you’ve been holding out on me."
This was a joke, of course, but he was still trying to figure out what Lavi was up to, and the redhead obviously wasn’t going to tell him directly. Maybe he could make him slip just enough to reveal it without meaning to. Or entertain him enough with his statement that Lavi would simply spill it.
"Whatever drugs you’re on, I want to know where you got them, and why you’ve been holding out on me."
This was a joke, of course, but he was still trying to figure out what Lavi was up to, and the redhead obviously wasn’t going to tell him directly. Maybe he could make him slip just enough to reveal it without meaning to. Or entertain him enough with his statement that Lavi would simply spill it.
BooK:
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“Life without you would be like a broken pencil--pointless!”
Oohh no. Lavi wouldn’t fall for Allen’s jokes—while they are pretty good, there’s no way he’s going to reveal his pick-up-line-massacre until the other somewhat gets the idea of what he’s trying to do.
“Life without you would be like a broken pencil--pointless!”
Oohh no. Lavi wouldn’t fall for Allen’s jokes—while they are pretty good, there’s no way he’s going to reveal his pick-up-line-massacre until the other somewhat gets the idea of what he’s trying to do.
Me:
Maybe Lavi was just joking around, but that hit a little too close to home for his liking. He tried not to let it show, though, instead dawning one of his infamous clown smiles.
"You can always just re-sharpen a broken pencil, though." It was more a derailment than a joke.
Speaking of points, something in the back of his mind was prodding him about the situation. He just couldn’t quite place his finger on exactly what it was, but he had a feeling he was getting close to figuring it out.
"You can always just re-sharpen a broken pencil, though." It was more a derailment than a joke.
Speaking of points, something in the back of his mind was prodding him about the situation. He just couldn’t quite place his finger on exactly what it was, but he had a feeling he was getting close to figuring it out.
BooK:
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“I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.”
This guy… that sentence wasn’t supposed to happen! Where’s the flushed and panicked reactions?! Does Allen REALLY not realize what’s going on?!
“I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.”
This guy… that sentence wasn’t supposed to happen! Where’s the flushed and panicked reactions?! Does Allen REALLY not realize what’s going on?!
Me:
Allen stops mid-step with the abruptness of smacking face-first into a wall.
Oh… no. No.
Suddenly it dawns on him exactly what Lavi might be doing, and he has no idea how to react. It can’t be. It simply can’t. There’s just no way.
"Are-… Are you… coming onto me?"
It’s not like the idea entirely repulses him, he just never really thinks about those sorts of things, and now he feels like he’s being blindsided out of nowhere. As far as he knows, Lavi likes women. He never really spared the thought that his door might swing both ways. It simply never crossed his mind before now.
Oh… no. No.
Suddenly it dawns on him exactly what Lavi might be doing, and he has no idea how to react. It can’t be. It simply can’t. There’s just no way.
"Are-… Are you… coming onto me?"
It’s not like the idea entirely repulses him, he just never really thinks about those sorts of things, and now he feels like he’s being blindsided out of nowhere. As far as he knows, Lavi likes women. He never really spared the thought that his door might swing both ways. It simply never crossed his mind before now.
BooK:
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“What the hell, man?! No!” Lavi protests instantly, face going pale. “I was jus' jokin' around an' pullin' pick up lines which were before your time 'cause no one has the patience for 'em anymore!”
Damn it all! It seems ignorance is also a very lethal weapon—how could he forget that?!
“What the hell, man?! No!” Lavi protests instantly, face going pale. “I was jus' jokin' around an' pullin' pick up lines which were before your time 'cause no one has the patience for 'em anymore!”
Damn it all! It seems ignorance is also a very lethal weapon—how could he forget that?!
Me:
"P-pick-up li-…?" He can’t even bring himself to finish.
Of course he knows of them, that didn’t mean he actually knew any, and the only reason he was aware they existed was because Cross - apparently - used to be a real Casanova before the outbreak.
Of course with everyone paranoid and ready to kill each other over scraps, it was a lot harder for the man to get an easy lay these days.
"That’s basically the same thing, idiot-Lavi! Or should I call you pervert-Lavi from now on? And our age gap isn’t that big!” Now he thinks maybe he should be insulted. Technically pick-up lines were before Lavi’s ‘time’ too.
Of course he knows of them, that didn’t mean he actually knew any, and the only reason he was aware they existed was because Cross - apparently - used to be a real Casanova before the outbreak.
Of course with everyone paranoid and ready to kill each other over scraps, it was a lot harder for the man to get an easy lay these days.
"That’s basically the same thing, idiot-Lavi! Or should I call you pervert-Lavi from now on? And our age gap isn’t that big!” Now he thinks maybe he should be insulted. Technically pick-up lines were before Lavi’s ‘time’ too.
BooK:
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“Ain't a perv when I was jus' tryin' to make you uncomfortable instead of pickin' you up!” Lavi snaps, just about screeching and having the confidence to do so since they haven’t run into any Infected for a while now.
The GALL of this kid!
“Ain't a perv when I was jus' tryin' to make you uncomfortable instead of pickin' you up!” Lavi snaps, just about screeching and having the confidence to do so since they haven’t run into any Infected for a while now.
The GALL of this kid!
Me:
" ‘pretty sure trying to make someone uncomfortable that way still would’ve fallen under old sexual harrassment laws," back when laws were still a common thing, anyway. "Which still makes you a pervert!"
Book:
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“But it's a JOKE, dammit! You know I wouldn't hit on you so it was supposed to be funny!” Lavi shouts again, getting a bit more desperate to get Allen to stop with this serious talk and common sense.
It’s a jokster’s worst enemy.
“But it's a JOKE, dammit! You know I wouldn't hit on you so it was supposed to be funny!” Lavi shouts again, getting a bit more desperate to get Allen to stop with this serious talk and common sense.
It’s a jokster’s worst enemy.
Me:
"With you, anything’s possible. Just because you say you’d never hit on me, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t! I bet you’re just taking advantage of the fact we’re alone, pervert-Lavi!” It’s hard to tell at this point if he’s still being serious or if he’s just very good at masking his banter.
BooK:
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"… Are you pulling my leg, or…?” Lavi asks, not sure what to really do with Allen at this point because the white-haired teen REALLY has him fooled right now.
"… Are you pulling my leg, or…?” Lavi asks, not sure what to really do with Allen at this point because the white-haired teen REALLY has him fooled right now.
Me:
"You’re supposed to be the smart one — you figure it out," Allen rebukes coyly. Now he’s making it Lavi’s turn to play guessing games, sticking out his tongue cheekily. The redhead isn’t the only one who can be a brat.
BooK:
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“Man! You were joking all along! Don't go gettin' me worried 'cause I thought you were thinkin' I was hittin' on you an' then things would be awkward an' we're all we have right now!” Lavi says with a whine.
“Man! You were joking all along! Don't go gettin' me worried 'cause I thought you were thinkin' I was hittin' on you an' then things would be awkward an' we're all we have right now!” Lavi says with a whine.
Me:
"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. And maybe you should choose how you relieve boredom more carefully from now on!"
Oh no, at first he hadn’t been joking at all. It had taken him a few moments to recover enough to even think of that, but now he was just trying to play it off.
Lavi’s goal had been to make him uncomfortable, after all. No need to give him any incentive to keep trying, lest he might get his wish at the teen’s expense.
Oh no, at first he hadn’t been joking at all. It had taken him a few moments to recover enough to even think of that, but now he was just trying to play it off.
Lavi’s goal had been to make him uncomfortable, after all. No need to give him any incentive to keep trying, lest he might get his wish at the teen’s expense.
BooK:
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“A-Alright, wh-whatever you say, B-Beansprout.”
That demonic look on his face is something Lavi didn’t think he’d be seeing again for a while longer. Now he knows for sure he has to refrain from doing those pickup lines again.
“A-Alright, wh-whatever you say, B-Beansprout.”
That demonic look on his face is something Lavi didn’t think he’d be seeing again for a while longer. Now he knows for sure he has to refrain from doing those pickup lines again.
Me:
"Glad you see it my way!" Allen tosses over his shoulder, simultaneously celebrating victory in his own mind. Ah, cheating. Whether it be in cards or mind games, it always works, even on seasoned pranksters like Lavi.